Moving a parent with dementia to assisted living is a major emotional and practical transition. Some things make it smoother, though: when you plan early, choose a community that fits your parent’s needs, prepare familiar belongings, and stay involved after the move. This guide will help you plan out the process from the first planning steps to settling into a new routine.
If your family is still deciding between care types, start with Memory Care vs. Assisted Living for Dementia: How to Choose the Right Support. This guide focuses on what comes next: researching communities, packing, moving day, responding to resistance, and supporting your parent after the move. Cedarbrook of Bloomfield Hills offers assisted living, memory care, and nursing care in one community, giving your family plenty of flexibility when looking for care outside of Detroit.
This article is educational and is not a substitute for medical, legal, or individualized care-planning advice. Talk with your parent’s healthcare team and appropriate advisors about your family’s circumstances.
Key takeaways
- Planning ahead will make the process of moving your loved one with dementia into an assisted living community. Don’t wait for a crisis or emergency to look for care.
- Bring familiar belongings, photos, and favorite trinkets to help them feel at home in their new apartment.
- Expect that it will take time for them to adjust. Stay in contact with the care team and ask about what you can do to make it easier for them.
- Visit as frequently as possible and call your loved one regularly to stay connected.
- Understand that your loved one’s needs will change over time, and take that into account when looking for a community.
Table of Contents
- Recognizing it may be time for assisted living or memory care
- Pre-move planning and preparation
- Choosing a dedicated memory care community
- Packing and preparing for the move
- Making the new community feel like home
- Listening to their concerns and handling resistance
- Staying connected after the move
- When a nursing home may be the better fit
Recognizing it may be time for assisted living or memory care
Many families don’t start considering residential care until a crisis. They may get a call that their loved one was found wandering, couldn’t get home, or had fallen. Don’t wait until an emergency to start planning for your loved one’s needs.
Pay attention as safety concerns increase, care needs exceed what can be managed at home, caregiver health is affected, or they stop eating or taking medications regularly. The earlier you notice they need more support, the less intense the support may need to be.
Assisted living may be a good fit for someone who needs help with daily activities but doesn’t require intensive medical care. A dedicated memory care setting, on the other hand, is designed around dementia-related needs and may offer added supervision, staff training, secure spaces, and specialized routines.
Explore Cedarbrook’s assisted living options, or compare assisted living and memory care for dementia if you still need a full decision framework.
Pre-move planning and preparation
Start by gathering information, involving your parent as much as their abilities allow, and visiting more than one community. The Alzheimer’s Association recommends visiting care settings, speaking with staff and residents, reviewing inspection information, and observing the community at different times of day.1
Bring a written list of questions so emotion doesn’t push important details aside. Ask about:
- The level of help available with bathing, dressing, medications, meals, and mobility.
- How staff are trained to support residents with dementia and respond to distress or changing behavior.
- How care plans are created, reviewed, and shared with families.
- What happens if your parent’s needs increase, and whether another move could be required.
- How the community supports daily routines, meaningful activities, nutrition, and social connections.
- What you should bring on move-in day, and which items are restricted for safety or space reasons.
Tour the apartment, common spaces, dining areas, outdoor areas, and community amenities. Share an accurate picture of your parent’s routines, abilities, preferences, and difficult moments so the community can explain whether it can meet those needs.
Choosing a dedicated memory care community
Memory care programs are designed for people with Alzheimer’s disease and other dementias, but their staffing, security, activities, and care practices can differ. Ask how the team can personalize support for your loved one, communicate with your family, and what systems are in place to handle wandering or distress.
Look beyond the highlights of the tour. Notice how team members speak with residents, whether the day feels calm and purposeful, and whether activities match different interests and abilities. Ask to see a recent activity calendar and learn how quiet space, outdoor access, meals, and personal routines are handled.
Families considering compassionate memory care in Bloomfield Hills can also review these helpful memory care activities for examples of questions to ask about engagement and routine before touring Cedarbrook.
Packing and preparing for the move
Getting ready for the move will likely be a challenging time, and may bring up grief, uncertainty, or confusion. Involve your parent in manageable choices when possible, such as selecting favorite photos or a familiar blanket. Keep things calm, limit clutter, and confirm the apartment’s dimensions and safety rules before moving furniture.
- Essentials: Current medication list; pharmacy and healthcare contacts; identification; insurance cards; hearing aids, glasses, dentures, walkers, and chargers or batteries.
- Comfort and familiarity: Labeled family photos; a favorite blanket; familiar artwork; a small chair or bedside item if approved; a playlist or simple hobby materials.
- Clothing and personal care: Easy-to-layer clothing; comfortable shoes; sleepwear; grooming supplies; seasonal outerwear; enough labeled items for the community’s laundry schedule.
- Important documents: Copies of healthcare directives, powers of attorney, emergency contacts, care preferences, and other records requested by the community. Keep originals secure unless specifically required.
- Organization: Label belongings discreetly; photograph valuable or meaningful items; keep an inventory; pack a first-night bag; remove items the community identifies as unsafe.
A senior move manager or organizer with dementia-care experience may help if your family needs hands-on support. Ask how privacy is handled and who you should coordinate with in the community.
Making the new community feel like home
Your loved one’s new apartment will be home, and it should feel like it. Sure, there will be new neighbors and things to get used to, but their space can still be familiar and comfortable.
If possible, set up the room before your parent, arrives when the community recommends it. Place familiar photos, bedding, furniture, and everyday objects where they’re easy to see. Keep pathways clear and avoid crowding the room with too many items at once.
Work with staff to carry over familiar wake-up, meal, rest, and bedtime routines. Introduce activities gradually, based on your parent’s interests and energy. For visits, choose a time when your parent generally functions best rather than assuming that what’s most convenient for you is when they’ll be ready.
Listening to their concerns and handling resistance
Your parent might say they don’t want to move. They may forget earlier conversations or may become upset when plans are repeated. Listen for the feeling underneath the words. Fear, loss of control, and uncertainty deserve a calm response even when the move still needs to happen.
The Alzheimer’s Association recommends patient listening, one question at a time, reassurance, and avoiding correction or argument when communication becomes difficult.2
- Use short, concrete explanations and a calm tone.
- Offer limited choices that your parent can still make, such as which sweater or photo to bring.
- Avoid debating facts your parent cannot retain; acknowledge the emotion and redirect gently.
- Ask a trusted clinician, social worker, counselor, or community team member to help plan the conversation and move.
- Pause and try again later when a conversation is escalating and there is no immediate safety concern.
Resistance is common. It’s both okay and responsible to ask for help. If your parent lacks decision-making capacity or if family members disagree about authority, obtain individualized medical and legal guidance before acting. If your family is facing an immediate safety emergency, contact the appropriate local emergency service.
Staying connected after the move
Your role will change after the move. If you’ve been caregiving, that responsibility will now be shared by the care team at the community. However, you’re not out of the picture. Staying connected is important both for you and your loved one. You may now have the time to connect without the stress that comes with caregiving or worrying about your loved one being at home alone.
Ask your loved one’s care team about who will be in contact with you about maintaining a regular visit schedule. You’ll still be able to share meals, go on trips out into the area, and spend quality time with your loved one, and the staff will be able to let you know the best times based on your loved one’s normal routine and functioning. You can also keep in touch by phone and video calls, and still be involved when your loved one needs assistance with planning appointments.
When a nursing home may be the better fit
Nursing homes provide around-the-clock care and long-term medical treatment, while assisted living generally supports daily activities without the same level of intensive medical care. A higher level of care may be appropriate when your loved one has medical, mobility, safety, or personal-care needs that exceed what assisted living can safely provide.1
Ask the care team and your parent’s healthcare professionals for a needs assessment. You can also tour nursing homes using the same considerations you used for assisted living communities. The goal is still the same: get your loved one the support they need in a community where they’ll feel comfortable and at home.
Cedarbrook of Bloomfield Hills offers assisted living, specialized memory care, and a nursing home on-site. If your loved one’s needs change over time, we may be able to help them transition into a different level of care in the same community. Read more about choosing a nursing home in Bloomfield Hills.
It may be time to consider a move when safety risks are growing, they need more support than your family can provide, caregiver health is suffering, or added structure and social contact may help. Ask the healthcare team for a needs assessment and begin touring communities before a crisis.
Focus on listening, reassurance, and small choices rather than winning an argument. Use short explanations, avoid repeated corrections, and ask a clinician, social worker, counselor, or community team member to help plan the conversation. Most importantly, keep them involved in the planning.
Pack comfortable, labeled clothing, personal-care items, approved medical and identification information, and a small group of familiar belongings such as photos, bedding, or a favorite chair if allowed. Confirm the community’s safety rules and move-in list before packing medications, furniture, valuables, or legal documents.
Adjustment times vary with the person, stage of dementia, health, routine, environment, and level of family and staff support. Ask the community what changes are expected and when continuing distress should trigger a care-plan review or healthcare consultation.
Acknowledge the fear or loss behind the refusal, keep explanations simple, and avoid forcing a heated conversation. Ask the healthcare team and a social worker or counselor for help; if decision-making capacity is limited, consult a qualified professional before taking action.
Consider nursing care when your parent needs around-the-clock medical treatment or a level of mobility, personal-care, or safety support that assisted living cannot provide. Request an assessment, compare the available services directly, and include your parent in planning as much as possible.
Get help moving your parent to Cedarbrook of Bloomfield Hills
Cedarbrook of Bloomfield Hills serves families in Oakland County and nearby Birmingham, Franklin, and Troy. Our community offers upscale assisted living, memory care, and nursing care with amenities and activities designed to support comfort, connection, and daily life.
We know this is one of the most difficult decisions you’ll have to make, and we’re here to help every step of the way. Schedule a tour and bring questions about your parent’s routines, current support needs, difficult moments, preferred activities, and possible future needs. We’ll explain available services and the assessment process without asking your family to make every decision at once.
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